Family & Relationships

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Updated March 19, 2008

We can choose our friends, but not our family. Sometimes relationships are difficult, whether between spouses, parents and children, and siblings. From advice columns, talking to your children (and grandchildren) about sex and drugs, to support groups, this area provides links that will help you understand interpersonal relationships. To simplify your research, we have several categories. Please scroll down, use the index link, or use your browser's "find" or "search" feature to get the the area you are seeking.

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Strengthening Relationships

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Strengthening Relationships

Know Your Communications' Style " We've all had times with our spouse or even very good friends where conversation dragged. We went away feeling drained or frustrated .Fortunately, we have also had time with our close friends or spouse when conversation was very satisfying. The time flew by as we talked.We have met people that we could not converse with at all, while meeting others where conversation "clicked. They were easy to talk to.Why? "
A Good Fight May Keep You And Your Marriage Healthy "When both spouses suppress their anger at the other when unfairly attacked, earlier death was twice as likely than in all other types."
Marriage and Relationships “Deciding if a relationship or marriage is ‘worth the effort’ can be an extremely difficult thing to do. You are probably feeling angry, disgusted, or even repulsed. It takes time to sort out your thoughts and feelings, and it probably will take a while. There are a few things, though, that may help you make this tough and possibly life changing decision.”
Learning to Listen "Listening is the result of our auditory processing or how our brain processes and interprets the sounds received from the ear. In other words....our understanding."
Learning to Listen to Learn "Although the terms “hearing” and “listening” are used interchangeably, they describe
different processes. “Hearing,” refers to the physiological processes that enable listening
to happen. “Listening” refers to the process of receiving a message from another person,

giving the message meaning, and then responding to the message."
Learning to Listen "Failure in communication is a common cause of discontent in relationships. Indeed, our generation has seen a spate of therapies, training, and programs of all kinds geared to assisting couples, families, and businesses in learning how to listen. "
Relationships And Marriage Are About Being Connected. A collection of articles about commitment in a relationship.
Are you REALLY Listening? "Most of us do not realize the importance of listening as a communicative tool. Yet studies have shown that we actually spend 50% more time listening than we do talking. We often take listening for granted, never realizing that it is a skill that can be learned. "
Effective & Assertive Communication Are you clear with what you say? Are you able to say NO when needed? Do you use "I" statements to convey thoughts and feelings? Do you plainly request expected behavior to meet your needs?”
Communicating as a Couple “Problems within a relationship typically begin when people resist stepping back and taking a long look at themselves and the role they play. If a person does not learn how to step back and reflect on themselves, relationship problems always tend to escalate and communication between the couple will continuously falter. “
Are You Saying? “Make sure you hear what your spouse really means.”
Talking With Your Spouse “Issues related to finances, like issues related to sexuality, are often difficult for spouses to effectively communicate about.”
Communication Tips For To Use With A Spouse “The spousal communication at baseline was related with succeeding family planning use, independent of movement contact.”  Includes a huge list of articles on this topic.
Both Partners Are Responsible
For The Relationship 		“Too often society has placed this responsibility on the woman when it should be equally shared. Women often have accepted the “caretaker” role partially because of their connectedness with children and family; however, both partners have a great stake in the well-being of the marriage and should care deeply about keeping the relationship viable and healthy. One person cannot strengthen the relationship alone. It takes two working together to strengthen the partner relationship.”
Secrets to Long-Lasting Marriages "Sunrise Senior Living , one of the largest providers of senior living services with more than 450 communities worldwide, shared the results of a recent survey conducted among couples who have been married 50+ years "
Procrastination "If a procrastination rut has a hold on you and you are ready to fight back and regain control of your life, you need to be honest with yourself (everyone knows how easy THAT is.) “I’m a procrastinator and it’s gotten out of control.”"
How to Spend Time Together “One of the vital things you must do after deciding to spend time together is commit to protecting that time from all invaders and marauders, which include the phone, work, and household chores”
Building a Strong Marriage—Finding Time “With today's busy lifestyles, there are many demands for a person's time. Work, family responsibilities, community involvement, and time for self make it difficult to juggle these different roles. With this multitude of demands, many couples may have difficulty finding time to spend with their spouse.”
Making Relationships Stronger “Try to explain your expectations in plain language. This communication will strengthen your relationship.”
Tips for Relationship Success “Take on the idea that love and marriage are skill-based propositions. Like most things of high value, it takes effort and mindfulness to achieve. Do not think that love just keeps going without any attention. “
Marriage and Relationship Check-Ups “Couples in a love relationship want to learn ways to keep their love alive and fresh, starting before the wheels fall off their relationship, and continuing through all of the good and bad times.”
Tools for Anger Work-Out Lengthy article divided into chapters.
15 ways to say "I'm sorry" "Do you need to apologize?"
'I'm Sorry' Just Isn't Enough “When someone has disappointed us over and over and we've lost trust in that person. We just seem to put a question mark in front of everything they say or do.”
Don't Say You're Sorry “The word sorry isn't an admission of a wrong. While it can mean we did something, it doesn't convey the feeling that the action was wrong. Sorry can mean, "I'm sorry you feel that way," or "I'm sorry you took it that way." This, too, fails to admit the wrongness of the action. It can also mean we're merely sorry we got caught. That's not an admission of wrong either. It's much easier to say, "I'm sorry," than it is to acknowledge the wrongness of the things we've done.”
How to Stop the Arguments “Your partner is not your enemy.”
Anger "Given that anger is a human reality, what help can psychology offer in learning to cope with it?"
Bridling Anger “Anger is expressed in at least three ways. It may be directed outward, toward other people or objects in the environment. You might feel like yelling, screaming, punching a person, smashing or destroying something, or throwing a chair or book across the room. These are destructive expressions of anger. What makes them destructive is that instead of solving the problem, they usually escalate the situation and make the problem worse.”
An Introduction to Anger Management “Angry people are capable of great violence. However, while anger can certainly be abused, it is more than a simple destructive force. Anger is also a critically important part of what might be called the self-preservation and self-defense instincts.”
Dealing with Anger in a Marriage “Though anger is one of the most common emotions known to the human race, few people are skilled at reacting to this feeling with complete effectiveness. Many of us rely on a few specific responses that we learned as children and continue to use as adults. These responses can turn into constructive or destructive behavior. Recognizing what makes us angry can help us find better ways to cope with this emotion. It's not whether we get angry, but what we do with our anger that matters.”
Handling Conflict What behaviors help in managing conflict?
Solving Conflicts without Arguing “Conflicts grow out of our uniqueness. The goal of conflict resolution is not to rid ourselves of our differences. The goal is to learn to work together as a team, using differences to make life better for both of us.”
Dealing With Anger in a Marriage “Those who have studied anger indicate that more anger is developed in marriage relationships than in any other relationship where people are involved. Unresolved anger is the principal cause of violence toward another person. Successful anger management can mean the difference between marital joy or absolute misery. The success or failure of a marriage may depend on the way a couple copes with their angry feelings.”
The Fastest Road to Forgiveness “Have your apologies often fallen flat? Do your spouse's apologies connect and motivate you to forgive? Or are you married to someone who seldom apologizes?”
Manage Anger for a Healthy Life “Everyone gets angry on occasion. The trick is to manage anger in such a way that positive, not negative, actions are mobilized.”
Arguing Is Pulling Us Apart “When couples handle their differences badly they typically end up throwing "hand grenades" at each other. In other words, they do everything that is unhelpful in terms of resolving their differences and inevitably end up fighting, or worse.”
Negotiations "Negotiations are part of all relationships. Friends, family, spouses, lovers, co-workers all negotiate and compromise."
Strengthening Your Relationship "On a scale from 1 to 10 (10 being the highest), what kind of relationship would you want for us?"
To Do List For A Good Relationship “Experienced marriage and relationship counsellors have identified a number of components that are important to successful long-term relationships for couples.“
The Perfect Family “Is the family you grew up in different from the ones that exist today? Is your family different from the ones you see on television? The answer is probably yes to both of these questions because so much has changed in the American family and so much was always myth about the way family was portrayed vs. the way it really is.”
Relationship Strengthening Approaches “Whereas communication and soothing approaches help couples to work through their conflicts, relationship strengthening approaches help couples to strengthen the bonds that hold them together in spite of conflicts. As such bonds get stronger and are expressed more frequently through positive interactions, it becomes easier for couples to commit to the work and compromise needed to resolve their differences.”
Strengthening Your Relationship with Regular "Couple Meetings “Few couples regularly talk about relationship concerns, so what begin as small issues tend to become larger problems that threaten to destroy a relationship. Couple meetings can nip problems in the bud.”
A Healthy Sex Life — At Any Age! "No men or women over the age of 50 would argue that their sex life is just the same as it was when they were 20. Maybe it’s better. Maybe it’s worse. But either way, it’s bound to be different."
Sexual Behavior Among Older Adults "The first comprehensive national survey of sexual attitudes, behaviors and problems among older adults in the United States has found that most people ages 57 to 85 think of sexuality as an important part of life and that the frequency of sexual activity, for those who are active, declines only slightly from the 50s to the early 70s."
Sex and the Senior “Sometimes we forget that the people who are now our revered elders once lived full, robust and sexually active lives.”
Sex Hasn't Lost Its Importance To Seniors "Forty years have passed since the flower-power children of the '60s experienced the start of the sexual revolution, but today's senior citizens are still on a quest for sexual fulfillment."
Sexed-Up Seniors Do It More Than You'd Think "An unprecedented study of sex and seniors finds that many older people are surprisingly frisky — willing to do, and talk about, intimate acts that would make their grandchildren blush. That may be too much information for some folks. "
SEX in Later Life "The sexual role models that we conventionally see are 18- to 30-year-old people. We seldom have a picture or vision of 60-, 70-, 80-, or 90-year-old people enjoying sex. Society in general and particularly the medical community is guilty of assuming that when you retire from your job, you also retire from your love life and your sexual life."
When Your Spouse Has a Ghost “If you're married to someone haunted by a prior marriage, here's how you can help.”
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Surviving Relationships

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Surviving Relationships

Common Relationship Problems “Relationships are constantly changing; they may include perfect moments but in a sustained relationship there are many highs, lows and lengthy plateaus. Even in strong partnerships there will be times when changes happen and you may hit rockier patches.”
Relationship Breakdown Signs & Signals “Occasionally, relationships break down without any apparent sign that there is something wrong - sometimes one partner chooses to leave for reasons they never share. However, in the majority of cases the breakdown of a relationship is more gradual with clear signs and signals along the way.”
The Most Important Problem Senior Citizens Face "Given the failing economy in America, financial security will be the most important problem for many senior citizens now and in the coming years. With more and more seniors depending on Social Security and Social Security heading for bankruptcy, financial security is a looming disaster."
Surviving a Financial Crisis "“Talk to each other. In most cases—and especially where finances are concerned—two heads are better than one. Find a time when you and your spouse can sit down, discuss your money, and set up a workable plan for emergencies”"
Codependence “Codependent behavior will often be at the root of relationship problems, and will impact your overall satisfaction in life. This is because the thought process of codependency is very deeply integrated into your self concept and level of self esteem.”
Are You Being Abused? "Respect is another word for love. You deserve respect in a relationship and should leave any relationship where respect is not shown."
Abuse: An Introduction “Abuse occurs when people mistreat or misuse other people, showing no concern for their integrity or innate worth as individuals, and in a manner that degrades their well being. Abusers frequently are interested in controlling their victims. They use abusive behaviors to manipulate their victims into submission or compliance with their will.”
The Signs of Verbal Abuse “Verbal abuse is a form of domestic violence and often is a precursor to physical violence. It can be difficult to recognize verbal abuse and often excuses are made for it. Understanding what constitutes verbal abuse is explained here.”
Tools for Handling Control Issues Lengthy article divided into chapters.
Passive Aggressive Behavior “Passive aggressive behavior expresses negative feelings, resentment, and anger; and it does so in an unassertive passive way”
Understanding Mental and Emotional or Psychological Abuse. "A common form of emotional abuse is "I love you, but..." That sounds so sweet, yet it is both a disguised criticism and a threat. It indicates, "I love you now, but if you don't stop such-and such, that love is of short duration.""
Domestic Violence “If you find yourself in a relationship that involves physical abuse, verbal abuse, threats or other types of attempts to control your life or freedom, this is not a safe relationship to be part of at this moment.”
Handling Guilt What is guilt and how can you overcome this feeling?
Ten Destructive Habits That Demolish Trust “There are 10 destructive habits that you should stay away from if you truly want to rebuild the trust in your relationship and make it thrive again.”
Building Trust “Why do people have trouble developing trust in others?”
Building Trust “Discovering the infidelity of your mate delivers a gigantic blow to your belief systems, your values and your perceptions of what is right and wrong. Everything you've ever held dear or has ever been important to you is now shaken to its very foundations.” With additional links.
Trust and Trust Building “The need for trust arises from our interdependence with others. We often depend on other people to help us obtain, or at least not to frustrate, the outcomes we value (and they on us). As our interests with others are intertwined, we also must recognize that there is an element of risk involved insofar as we often encounter situations in which we cannot compel the cooperation we seek.”
10 Crucial and Surprising Steps to Build Trust in a Relationship “When do seeds of suspicion emerge? When one begins to think, What's up?”
Building Trust in a Relationship Again “Trust is the foundation for intimate, secure and successful relationships. It must be earned and maintained with consistent actions.”
Affairs & Infidelity “Extramarital affairs, infidelity, betrayal or adultery don't have to mean the end of your relationship or marriage. Surviving infidelity in your relationship or marriage can actually be easier than you might think.”
Surviving an Extramarital Affair “Adultery is a heart-breaking betrayal, whether it's emotional cheating or physical intimacy with another person. Here are five steps to surviving an extramarital affair.“
Infidelity “Infidelity can range from a one night drunken mistake to a long term, planned and calculated affair. Infidelity doesn't have to mean the end, but is likely to have a long term impact on your relationship.”
Surviving Adultery: How to Survive and Overcome Adultery "Adultery is devastating to any marriage, regardless of the circumstances under which adultery might have occurred. Unfortunately, adultery is all too common is the cause of pain and anguish to many couples."
15 Steps to Surviving an Affair “Healing from infidelity is hard, painful work; both of you must be committed to repairing the damage, rebuilding trust, and reconnecting. On the agenda: The unfaithful spouse must be willing to stop the affair, provide all details honestly and completely, and take the steps necessary to prove his or her trustworthiness.”
After the Affair “Finding out your partner is having, or has had an affair is one of the worst things that can happen in a relationship. It is a demoralizing and painful experience.”
How to Survive an Affair - Take Care! “Surviving an affair can be a very traumatic experience. Partners tend to know which strings to pull to antagonize the situation especially if there are children involved.” With links to related articles.
What Is A "Midlife Crisis "Most younger adults anticipate that between their late thirties and their early fifties a day will come when they suddenly realize that they have squandered their lives and betrayed their dreams.’
Surviving the Midlife Crisis How do you recognize a midlife crisis? What are its symptoms? According to "New York Times" Editorial Page Editor Howell Raines, "it typically begins with mild twinges of dread, disappointment and restlessness that tiptoe in on little cat feet. Then in some cases, the cat feet turn to elephant feet."
Midlife Crisis, Stress and Depression “Midlife Crisis is a natural process (first identified by the psychologist Carl Jung) and it is a normal part of 'maturing'.”
Midlife Metamorphosis “This series of Midlife Web Pages provide maps as general orientations to midlife. If you are to take the midlife journey, you need to know the terrain, understand the destination, and have a goal in mind.”
Mid-Life Crisis “Mid-life crises may affect both men and women causing relationship problems resulting in relationship breakdown.”
Midlife Crisis!
Yours? His? Hers?		 “Whether it's your midlife crisis, or the midlife crisis of someone you love, Whether you're a man or a woman—you're in for a bumpy ride!”
How To Choose A Counsellor “People often ask how to choose a therapist that best suits their situation. Most people seek counselling at a point of great need. Finding a counsellor can be as hard as making the decision to see one. The difficulty is knowing which counsellor will be right for you.”
How Couples’ Therapy Can Help End Conflicts "Marriage and family difficulties account for about half of all visits to psychotherapists, and most therapists who specialize in family therapy work chiefly with couples. The therapist helps the couple work on eliminating mutual misunderstandings, unreasonable expectations, and unstated assumptions that perpetuate conflict,"
Marriage Counseling & Relationship Guidance “For at its fundamental core, a functioning marriage or committed relationship exists as a cooperative friendship between two people who consider each other important”
Anger Counseling “Usually this counseling format is called "Anger Management"; I would suggest that you may want to do more than just learn how to manage your anger.”
Marriage Counseling, Does It Really Work'  “Despite all the social, financial and health benefits that a good marriage provides, many couples are reluctant to seek marriage counseling at critical early stages of relationship breakdown. What typically occurs, is that one person may be wanting marriage counseling, while the other is resistant to marriage counseling.”
How Do I Talk To My Partner About Coming To Counseling “The other person must understand absolutely that relationships need a team approach: if it's not good for one of you it's not good for both. The relationship will only be good when both of you are happy.”
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Emotions

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Emotions

High-Quality Marriages Help To Calm Nerves "A University of Virginia neuroscientist has found that women under stress who hold their husbands' hands show signs of immediate relief, which can clearly be seen on their brain scans."
Emotional Resilience “There are so many sources of stress: caring for children, disabled persons and elderly parents, holding down a job, and making time for a social life are all everyday sources of stress. Added to these everyday stresses are extraordinary events such as deaths, serious illnesses, natural disasters and social upheavals that often occur randomly and without warning.”
An Introduction to Anxiety Disorders “An anxiety disorder may make you feel anxious most of the time, without any apparent reason. Or the anxious feelings may be so uncomfortable that to avoid them you may stop some everyday activities. Or you may have occasional bouts of anxiety so intense they terrify and immobilize you.”
Stress and Senior Singles " Having reached the age of most senior singles, we face deaths of our family members, death of our spouse, divorce from a long-time spouse, divorce and other problems of adult children, and our own declining bodies.We often have stress from loneliness as a single. Even the long-awaited birth of a new grandbaby can be stressful."
Depressed people benefit more from marriage than others "Depressed singles receive greater psychological benefits from getting married than those who are not depressed, new research shows."
Coping with Depression “When considering your depression level remember: you're feeling down and thinking negatively. To realistically estimate the degree of your depression will be a challenge. You'll probably think you are worse off then you really may be.”
Depression “Feeling a little down? Discouraged? Those feelings are normal when life’s challenges confront us from time to time. The feeling of discouragement usually goes away within a reasonable length of time. Depression, however, can hang around for weeks, months, even years.”
Depression “Depression is a common yet serious medical condition that affects both the mind and body. It is a complex illness, creating physical, psychological, and social symptoms.”
Introduction to Divorce “For better or for worse, divorce is a very common event these days. Most everyone has been touched by it, either by going through it themselves as a spouse or a child, or knowing someone who has gone through it as a spouse or as a child. Despite widespread familiarity with the effects of divorce, the details of the divorce process are less well known.”
Moving Ahead After Divorce as an Adult “Divorce affects every aspect of a person's life - where you live, the friends you spend time with, your health, your career or education decisions, finances, and future life plans. Divorce also affects the people around you.”
Maintaining relationships while managing chronic illness and pain "One of the things that seems desperately unfair to those of us who live with a chronic illness and ongoing symptoms is the impact it can have on friendships or romantic relationships. Many people have difficulty not only maintaining established friendships, but making new friends because their illness keeps them from being continually active and socially involved."
Overseeing the Affairs of a Terminally Ill Family Member "The challenge of managing all your own day-to-day life demands is dramatically compounded when you are dealing with an ailing family member due to a terminal illness. Dealing with what lies ahead can be emotionally overwhelming, and it is quite normal to not want to face up to the inevitable reality of the situation. "
Disability and Relationships "Since illness and disability are seen as countering contemporary values such as prosperity, speed, independence, self-reliance, and productivity, it is not surprising that individuals and their relationships struggle to adapt to this new life terrain that feels unfamiliar."
Caretakers of Ill Spouses Have Greater Risk of Death "A groundbreaking new study shows that caring for a sick spouse can raise the caretaker's risk of death. For some particularly disabling illnesses -- dementia, in particular -- the toll on the caretaker is worse than the toll of a spouse's death."
Is Caregiving a Risk Factor for Mortality? " Researchers have long known that caring for an ill or disabled relative is burdensome and stressful to many individuals, and it can result in psychiatric and physical morbidity. These effects are particularly likely among those with high levels of caregiving demands. Caregivers who live with severely disabled care recipients are at particular risk of developing their own health problems and may be at increased risk for mortality."
Taking Care of Others? 7 Ways to Protect Your Own Health "Perhaps you're a member of the "sandwich generation," people (usually women) in their 30s and 40s who are caring for their parents as well as for their children. Or maybe you're taking care of a sick or disabled spouse, relative or child. In either case, it's especially important that you take care of yourself."
Disability & Your Spouse "When a person becomes disabled, the initial reaction is to think only of themselves. We think, why me? We start feeling sorry for ourselves and let's face reality, it's all about us."
Caring for a Spouse Often Leaves Caregivers Without Support "More attention and services should be given to spouses caring for loved ones with cancer and other serious or fatal illnesses, argue the authors of a new study on the impact of dying on surviving spouses."
Understanding Chronic Illness "Family life may be vastly altered if the primary wage earner is unable to work or if treatment requires long-term changes in the family routine and activities."
Chronic Illness and Relationships "At some point, it seems, anger and resentment will come from those you love. They can never truly understand what it's like to suffer the pain everyday."
Introduction to Aging and Geriatrics “The science of aging indicates that chronic disease and disability are not inevitable. As a result, health promotion and disease prevention activities and programs are an increasing priority for older adults, their families, and the health care system.”
Understanding Grief and Death “Loss is defined as a “separation from, a detachment from something or someone of value.” The degree of the loss and its meaning and value to the individual affect the intensity of a person’s response. Therefore, it is virtually impossible to predict how any one person will respond to a particular loss. But it always causes some change in perception of one’s self or lifestyle, and some type of adaptation or adjustment is required.”
Getting Through the Death of a Spouse "The challenge of facing all the things one's day-to-day life demands is dramatically compounded when you experience a traumatic life changing event such as a death of a spouse. At such a time it's hard enough to want to get up in the morning, let alone have the energy to attend to the multitude of critical matters that must be addressed immediately."
Death Anxiety “People fear death:  They fear that they will miss out on parts of life they have not managed to live yet. They have concern over those who will survive them; that they will feel pain or will be unable to care for themselves.”
Death & Dying “Whether we acknowledge it or not, most of us fear death. Death remains a great mystery, one of the central issues with which religion and philosophy and science have wrestled since the beginning of human history.”
So What Now? - Death of a Spouse "A spouse's death creates many ramifications. On top of the obvious emotional strain, the surviving spouse has to deal with immediate concerns, such as funeral arrangements and notifying family and friends. There are also the pressing worries about cash flow and financial security, not to mention the many legal issues which will confront the surviving spouse."
Understanding And Dealing With Grief And The Loss Of Life "The loss of a life is life’s most stressful event and can cause a major emotional crisis. After the death of someone you love, you experience bereavement, which literally means "to be deprived by death.""
Surviving the Death of a Spouse "Whether you're 28 or 82, or married for 5 years or 50, the death of a spouse is a traumatic event."
Getting Through the Death of a Loved One "The challenge of managing all your own family's day-to-day life demands is dramatically compounded when you are dealing with the emotional loss of a mother or father, sibling - or even aunt or uncle whose affairs you have been asked to organize and bring to closure. "
Financial Steps To Take After A Spouse's Death "You'll always have the fond memories, but after the death of a spouse, there are several basic steps you need to take to prevent the memories from being overwhelmed by financial difficulties."
Death, Debt and the Surviving Spouse (PDF File). "Frequently the most expensive time in a person’s life is the last few months of life. Few of us stop to consider the high cost of medical care, including nursing care, that often piles tens of thousands of dollars of debt on a family."
Dealing With The Risk Of Suicide "Suicide can be the result of untreated depression, traumatic experiences, health problems, an injury, or a subtle buildup of events that are stressful or tragic. "
The Suicide Of
Older Men and Women		 "For most older people, their life is a time of fulfillment, satisfaction with life’s accomplishments. For some older adults, however, later life is a time of physical pain, psychological distress, and dissatisfaction with present, and, perhaps, past aspects of life. They feel hopeless about making changes to improve their lives. Suicide is one possible outcome."
Elderly Are At Highest Risk For Suicide "The elderly are the highest risk population in the country for suicide. But few suicide-prevention programs target them — a result, advocates say, of scarce funding and lack of concern for older Americans."
Older Adults: Depression and Suicide Facts "Depressive disorder is not a normal part of aging. Emotional experiences of sadness, grief, response to loss, and temporary “blue” moods are normal."
Fierce Goodbye "Suicide among older adults is an important public health problem, all the more sad because there are ways of successfully treating the risk factors such as depression, isolation and pain that are frequently the cause of suicide among the elderly. Elderly Americans make up about 13 percent of the country's population but account for about 20 percent of all suicides."
Suicide and the Elderly: Warning Signs and How to Help "One of the problems contributing to the high suicide rates in older Americans lies in detection. Health care providers and researchers point out that many older people are uncomfortable talking with others-- especially mental health professionals--about their feelings."
Single Again? "Recently Single Again? This web is for you!!"
Baby Boomers, Divorce And Health Care "Study shows divorced elderly are less likely to get care from their children"
Divorce and the Elderly "While the number of divorces themselves have not increased dramatically, divorce has become more common for the elderly. There are many possible reasons for this. Divorce is becoming more “socially acceptable”, particularly among the older generation for whom divorce has in the past not been an option."
Children Of Divorce Less Likely To Care For Elderly Parents A divorce may have happened more than 30 years ago, but the changes it caused can have a long-lasting effect for the child into adulthood, Davey said. The findings appear in the September issue of Advances in Life Course Research.More specifically, divorce predicted an adult child would be less involved with day-to-day assistance later in life for an aging parent. These activities include the child helping the parent with chores in the home.
When Your Elderly Parents Want A Divorce A case study
Going Through A Divorce "The challenge of managing your day-to-day life is dramatically compounded when you experience the uprooting of your life due to managing through a divorce. Your heart and mind are working on overload, many times resulting in an emotional versus rational tug of war."
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Mending Fences

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Mending Fences

Resolving Conflict In Relationships "One of the hardest things to handle in a relationship is conflict. While a good and fair fight can clear the air and help you to feel closer to your lover, many fights are just hurtful and destructive."
Resolving Fights and Disagreements "Is it normal to fight in a relationship?  Some people feel as if an argument, any argument, is a sign that a relationship is not healthy.  Other people feel as if a relationship without argument is a relationship without a pulse. "
An Article On Resolving Conflict In Relationships "With most fights, there are layers of what we mean, feel, intend, hope for, and believe, and what we actually say. We may only say a little of how we feel, or we may even say the opposite of how we're feeling on a much deeper level than the surface. Problems arise when we don't come from the deeper levels. "
Reconciliation "In recent years, reconciliation has also become an important matter for people who approach conflict resolution from a secular perspective. For them, the need for reconciliation grows out of the pragmatic, political realities of any conflict resolution process."
Basic Actions for Reconciliation of Friends " There is a sad tendency loosing touch with people as time goes by so older people seem to have less friends"
Forgiveness "Anyone who has ever been victimized—and that includes survivors of crime, accidents, childhood abuse, political imprisonment, warfare, and so on—must decide whether or not to forgive the perpetrator. There can be no middle ground to this decision: either you decide to forgive the person who hurt you, or you hold on to bitterness and anger. "
Forgiveness: How To Let Go Of Grudges And Bitterness "When someone you care about hurts you, you can hold on to anger, resentment and thoughts of revenge or embrace forgiveness and move forward."
The Art and Science of Forgiveness "Make a commitment to yourself to do what you have to do to feel better. Forgiveness is for you and not for anyone else. "
Handling Forgiving and Forgetting "Forgiving is allowing another person to be human for faults, mistakes, or misdeeds. Forgetting is putting these behind you; they are no longer brought up and no longer remain a barrier to your relationship."
What are Apology and Forgiveness? "Apology and forgiveness are two sides of the same emotional coin. They reflect the constructive ways the oppressors and the oppressed in an intractable conflict can come to grips with the pain and suffering the conflict produced."
Family
Therapy		 "In a permissive, self-indulgent society, there is less and less use for self-discipline and self-restraint. When anything goes, nothing means anything, and all paths lead nowhere. And right in the middle of nowhere you are sure to find anxiety, depression, and distress."
Productive Problem Solving Tips for productive problem solving
Sorry I Hurt You Taking responsibility and saying that you are sorry about something you did wrong is one way you can let go of guilt.
Forgive And Be Forgiven "By the act of forgiveness we release the other person from a debt, an obligation to make whole something that has been injured or taken from us, whether in terms of property or from ourselves, in terms of our identity or self worth or our relationships with other persons. So, to begin with, "I forgive you" means, "I release you.""
Why You should Forgive Them "Forgiving a wrongdoer is difficult because we feel that we are letting the wrongdoer off the hook.  A victim tends to think, "How can I ever forgive someone who has hurt me so much."  Forgiving does not equal letting someone off the hook.  Forgiveness doesn't mean that you have to condone what someone has done to you or ever having to tolerate someone's wrongful behavior.  "
How to Convince Someone to Forgive You "We are human beings and we are not perfect. As a matter of fact, recent shocking discoveries have been about human nature through dream interpretation. Thanks to dangerous research that has investigated unknown regions of the human psychic sphere, we know that human beings are very violent animals that cannot control their behavior."
How to Forgive Someone "It's likely you've felt hurt by people in your life by something they said, did or did not do to you. Most probably, you have not always forgiven these people. In fact, you have probably harbored a deep resentment toward them for the way they hurt you. But now, you recognize that it's not good for you to harbor such resentments since they tend to bring you down and depress you."
Dealing with Intergenerational Conflict "Most of us have good relationships with our parents and our adult children. But all families have conflicts. Don’t be fooled by cheerful faces cleaned up for church. Research tells us there are more problems when families live close together, are mutually dependent on each other, and have frequent interactions."
How To Disagree With Your Adult Child Without Straining Your Relationship "Disagreements between you and your adult children are inevitable and unavoidable. Only in a perfect, make-believe world do families live in total harmony. However, that doesn't mean that you must give in to create peace between each other, or completely avoid a compromise just because you are the parent."
Can Adult Children And Their Parents Become Friends? "Achieving a more peer like relationship with parents requires attitude adjustments and new ground rules, but some things don’t change. After all these years, your parents can still find ways to throw you off-balance and resurrect old doubts. They’re your biggest fans and harshest critics--and you continue to want their approval, no matter how old, how independent or how successful you are. In short, your parents’ opinions remain extremely important."
Disagreements between Parent and Offspring: " It is common for parents and their offspring to disagree and argue. As parents, after such arguments we often feel that we let down our children, and were not competent enough to guide them through difficult moments: "Why can’t I get across to my kids? Why don’t they listen to my advice?""
How Parents And Adult Children Can Rebuild Relationships "Love and respect are the most important parts in any relationship. With a healthy dose of each, parents can move past their role as disciplinarian and into their new role as friend and confidant. 'Reaching a comfortable adult-to-adult friendship is a growing, changing process, and it's never too late to make new progress.'"
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Friendships Outside of Marriage

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Friendships Outside of Marriage

How to Talk to Your Elderly Parents "Adult children and their parents often have trouble talking effectively. Small disagreements can be irksome and frustrating; if they simmer and grow, they can poison your last precious months and years together."
Americans’ Circle Of Friends Is Shrinking "Americans’ circle of close confidants has shrunk dramatically in the past two decades and the number of people who say they have no one with whom to discuss important matters has more than doubled"
Marriage And The Importance Of Keeping Friendships Alive "If you have married well and married wisely your spouse may likely be your best friend, someone you always turn to in times of hardship and times of joy."
Caring for Your Elderly Parents: How to Handle Family Conflicts "It shouldn't surprise anyone that sensitive family dynamics can be one of the most challenging aspects of care giving for an elder, given the tremendous financial, physical, and emotional demands involved."
Approach Parents With Concerns About Their Driving Ability "If you have concerns about your parents' ability to drive, addressing them promptly could be a matter of life and death."
Beware Some Dating Services "Before starting, let us point out that dating and matchmaking services help senior singles meet and date each other. Many are reputable but some are not."
Single Forever "Most singles live in the singles' world briefly. Then they either marry again or get "attached" to a significant other .However, there are some people in the singles' world who will never get married or "attached" for more than a brief time."
Attitudes and Behaviors in Dating Seniors " We all perceive life selectively. This means we constantly filter out most of the sounds and scenes around us, allowing only a manageable  amount through to our consciousness."
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